Mammy friends. Mothering is lonely when you don’t know anyone.

Mammy friends. Mothering is lonely when you don’t know anyone.

“WE were never meant to parent our children in isolation, but instead to have nurturing, loving support at arms reach,” says JoJo Hogan, founder of the Slow Post-Partum movement.

It seems that it doesn’t really matter that we don’t know our neighbours are anyone living near us before we have children, after all, isn’t it less people to be in annoying us? Well that’s what i thought — fast forward to me with a small baby in a very quiet rural housing estate and i just couldn’t believe that the whole day could pass and i may not see ANYONE!
My first solution to this was to hare all over the place with Cara in the car, visiting, well, everyone.

It wasn’t until another mam I met at baby massage told me about Cuidiu coffee mornings.

“Hmm,” I thought, “I’ll give it a try”.

I went along to one in Midleton. It was great! There were lots of mams there with babies and toddlers of all ages, we got to chat about what stuff we were grappling with at that time and got a glimpse into what the next few months/years might hold.
Looking back it really helped me have a better handle on what was normal. When my baby started waking more at around nine months, I remembered a mammy talking about her baby teething around that time. The best thing though was how looked after I felt, I’d be handed a lovely hot cup of tea and a slice of cake and I could just sit and relax.

It’s really hard to raise a child without people around you, it simply not how it is supposed to be.

It’s really hard to raise a child without people around you, it simply not how it is supposed to be. So this is why finding your tribe, other mams who are raising their children in a similar way to you, is so great. You don’t have to worry about the “Would you not..” comments.

You can just be yourself and talk about how you are parenting its okay to have different ideas about how you want to raise your children. It’s not ok to be around a lot of criticism and lack of acceptance of your parenting. It seriously erodes your confidence and can often lead to us doing things that go against our core values and beliefs.

it may take a few goes to really find your tribe but i promise, once you find them you will know. It’s like sinking into a warm bath; it just feels right!

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